cat diary
i received a forwarded email of the cat and dog diary and while the dog diary is absolutely boring, the cat diary amuses me endlessly. i have thus decided to insert googled images as this diary unfolds.........
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed cold hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. I plan as I stare from the window...
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of, however they merely made condescending comments about the 'nice gift' and what a 'good little hunter' I am.
Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this 'allergies' means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow...but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I regularly observe him communicating with the guards in their language. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now..........
but as i googled for pictures, it turns out that someone had beaten me to it a long time ago. bleah, i guess so much for originality.......
Click here for link.
no, i must be positive and think this way: great minds think alike.
so deluded.
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed cold hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. I plan as I stare from the window...
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of, however they merely made condescending comments about the 'nice gift' and what a 'good little hunter' I am.
Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this 'allergies' means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow...but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I regularly observe him communicating with the guards in their language. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now..........
but as i googled for pictures, it turns out that someone had beaten me to it a long time ago. bleah, i guess so much for originality.......
Click here for link.
no, i must be positive and think this way: great minds think alike.
so deluded.
posted by stella at
23:08
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